if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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