You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
