How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
