why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
