oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
