I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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