This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
