My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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