no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
zippers are such a cool invention
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
