Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
