I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i came on her dog
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
