That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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