Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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