Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Terrible idea I love it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
