Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
