I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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