She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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