Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
