Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
