i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
