There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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