I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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