So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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