I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
