I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
