i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
