By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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