Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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