This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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