So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
