Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
