Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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