They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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