There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
