There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
