i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I love having hate sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
