The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
