walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
