watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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