Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
