they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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