last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
