People in love make me want to vomit
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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