Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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