Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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