angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
