Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
