Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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