Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
