apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
