So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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