Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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