Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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